Why marriage equality in India isn’t a priority for Hijra communities
Beautiful article on marriage and gender.
“As I held the passport in my hand, I realized that both marriage and gender have a life beyond my own. Somewhere, my citizenship gender had been on file. Somewhere, a record of me existed that over-ruled my daily existence. Here, I was a man. There, I had been female.”
Dana C. Prosser
Connections between transgender equality and immigrant rights
by the Transgender Law Center
here is a list of what i don’t want to talk to you about, especially when you have a speculum/finger in me:
- if i am going to change my name
- which states are shitty for trans folks to live in
- what my relationship is like with my parents
- what self injecting is like
kthanxbai
hm you know i think that a large part of the reason that the “i always knew/i was always different” narrative of trans experiences is so popular and widely spread is that it’s comforting to cis people
when a trans person tells a cis person that they always knew they were different, the cis person can feel comforted knowing that that’s not their experience; they’re not a budding trans person, they’re Safe
whereas when a trans person tells a cis person that “well you know i never really knew; it was just something that came up” the cis person doesn’t have that buffer; if it Just Happened to someone else, why couldn’t it Just Happen to them? there goes their security; this trans person hasn’t been Different all their lives, was always as Normal as the cis person, but then they weren’t. maybe Cis Person is actually just like Trans Person, but they just don’t know it yet. whoa. scary.
so cis people reject that idea, because no way in hell are THEY ever going to be Like That. and i think that’s a large part of why people who don’t say it’s something they’ve always known are shamed and told that they’re not trans enough, not really trans, just faking it. in reality all trans experiences are equally valid, but in this system of hierarchy only certain trans experiences are allowed to be exposed to the world at large.
(Source: birdblankets)
only one, but they have to live for a year in the dark to be really, definitely sure it needs changing
Coming out is not a ritual I believe in. I am searching for deeper commitments to those I love and those who love me. time, distance, and struggle have taught me to celebrate silence. That means that time and time again I will look my mother in the eyes and we will see each other’s vulnerability beyond the sharpness of words, movements of tongues, vibrations of mouths and skin and anger; I am my mother’s daughter and she knows me, as I, her. Time, distance and struggle have also taught me how to ask for my needs to be met without forcing narratives of understanding. Because at the core, it is love that will act in defiance. In making peace with the feeling that I may never come out to everyone, even family, I have made peace with knowing that I will be seen holistically without disclosure of queerness and there is no fear in being wounded.
Coming out isn’t an accessible process, that is: it doesn’t seem to fit into cultures that are drastically different than those that center whiteness in queerness. Which is also to say all that my queer, migrant, yellow-brown, survivor soul has been told over the years, all of the systems and tools that have been created to deviate and soothe potential rejection does not work for me. family has hurt me, those closest to me have recited cold words in rhythmic prayer-like melodies and whiteness tells me to abandon connections that have fed, housed, and sustained me. and my family will be told by anti-bible-thumping-neo-liberal-queers that homophobia was created yesterday in their name and their efforts show that they will not let it go in vain.
Coming out values the single-dimensional-narrow-process over the person, trusts exclusively in the hegemonic vision of access to power and recognition for all the wrong things and whatever the cost someone will pay: write their checks off the backs of those of us who cannot afford to turn around. Those are not my values and those are not the values of my people who are so often being tossed under the bus in order to save a queerness centered in whiteness.
There is not a single closet I will or want to be forced out of. If anything at all, I have never lived in a closet. Most of us in our melanin, in our origins, in our history, in our futures rewritten by 4 digit numbers in textbook history, have never lived in a closet. So I don’t believe that coming out with save me. I will be inviting my mother and my family in, into my body and into my home and we will share meals, break bread, read each other’s hands and faces and we will continue to learn to live in each other’s company. I have faith that I am seen in search for deeper commitments to those I love and those who love me.
best PSA i’ve ever seen!
French PSA about condom use between trans and non-trans men.
Hooray for queer trans visibility! And for safer sex!
(Source: buckangel, via thismakesmeanxious)
